On Wednesdays, We Agitate
On Wednesday I won an award for community organizing. Here's what it feels like...
Wednesday, 10/11/2023, was a good day.
I just woke up on the right side of the bed.
It was National Coming Out Day.
I fed my cat on time.
Had a good strong cup of coffee before leaving the house in no rush.
I visited my spouse’s workplace for an impromptu ‘bring your partner to work’ day.
I mean come on, I even wore pink!
On Wednesday, I met with a friend and mentor to talk about navigating these wild nonprofit streets and the winding roads we can take into unexpected career destinations. We talked about our goals and dreams. Our career aspirations and how to build community.
I spoke freely about my worries about my current unemployment situation and feeling like I’m not where I “need to be.” And she very gently and with deeply knowing eyes reminded me that I was doing well by doing what I was already doing.
To buffer my discomfort with being jobless, I’ve borrowed the library’s Designing Your Life (2016) and also picked up Designing Your New Work Life (2021) by Stanford University’s Burnett and Evans, both books based on their nationally recognized course on Life Designing. They were a recommendation from a career coach and I barely made a dent in either. I also borrowed the sole copy of The AMA Handbook of Project Management (5th Ed.). Project Management becoming my latest career pivot. The hefty book sitting on my desk, or on the kitchen table or in my bag, always just within reach, but feeling far, far, far out of my reach. Some dissonance between knowing that I am a fantastic candidate and also hyper-preparing to counter the inevitable anxiety of the interview process.
I’m sure I’m not the first person to say that unemployment sucks. And growing up cradled in capitalism and meritocracy, it feels like a personal failure. It feels like I missed my exit, and now me and a hundred other cars are lurching back and forth in bumper to bumper traffic. But there is always another exit coming up in a few miles. So, I’ve decided that I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. Mild discomfort aside.
Nikita’s Award speech:
Congrats to all the nominees --- we are all being recognized for asking the good and the right questions. We agitators just look at the numbers and WONDER ALOUD why things aren't adding up. Agitators I learned today -- are also a mechanism in a washing machine. It helps to break down the dirt and grime in garments by agitating the fabric. Agitators are just people, who ask questions, and shake up the establishment to get the dirt and the grime out of the fabric of society. We do it in our places and in this room there are plenty more agitators among us.
Receiving this award feels very much like that Abbott Elementary Episode where Gregory Eddie wins 'Teacher of the Year' -- and he is really confused by it initially -- not sure if he deserves it. Not sure if he's done the work. Doesn't have the years of experience like Ms. Barbara or the bustling energy of Janine. But Melissa Schemmenti, veteran 2nd grade teacher lets him know that the award is something he can grow into. So I feel like I'm growing into this award and will continue to make the Grand Rapids 2-SLBGTQIA+ Community Proud, the BIPOC Queer Community Proud, and my chosen family proud.
Shout out to my spouse D. Hollowell, who I get to do the work with daily, and also to my friends in the room, turned true family who also ask the tough questions.
Thank you Queer Fam! And thank you to the Pride Center!
5 Min Free Write - 10/14/23 - Poetry is Life Group
“The Uber Eats of Vocabulary”
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Happy, Sad, Angry reaching, branching, stretching my tired mind into safety orange, red, yellow Life is Always Under Construction.
Michiganders say that there are only 2 seasons in Michigan: Winter and Construction Season.
Well, Life is Always Under Construction. And that’s okay.
Congrats on the award! So happy to see you doing well, even though unemployment is sooo hard during these times